Emerging Woman

Lately, I've been thinking about my role as a woman – in my relationship with Ben, in the larger community, and in the world. One thing that I know for sure is that I am an emerging woman!  Over the next month, I'll be devoting blog space to write about my internal discussions on this topic and what I realized is my truth. But first, I want to discuss the defining moment that got me to the point of being able to have that honest discussion with myself.

Last October in Boulder, Colorado, I experienced a life-changing event – Emerging Women Live! It was the vision of Chantal Pierrat, a former Peace Corps volunteer, to bring together women around the globe who want to change the world by living their own personal truths. I was initially drawn to Emerging Women because Brene Brown and Elizabeth Gilbert were listed as keynote speakers. And their talks were fucking amazing! Brene encouraged us not to engineer our lives to be small but instead to dare greatly and live our own personal truths. Liz taught us that ideas find people and that inspiration is always happening. You only have to clear yourself and be welcoming.

Every session at Emerging Women had me enthralled, and I learned something new from each one. Tara Mohr taught us how to recognize a calling and encouraged us to PLAY BIG and be more loyal to your dreams than your fears. Kristin Wheeler taught us how to find and live our native genius, while Kristin Neff taught us the importance of choosing self-compassion over self-esteem. And Sera Beak fired up our souls!

Emerging Women was way more than just speeches. It was an atmosphere like none other! Emerging Women was open...inviting...a safe space to speak our dreams. Emerging Women was women supporting women, providing encouragement and being caring and kind. I have never experienced anything like it before in my life, but I want to emulate it every day!

It was in this safe space that I began to speak my dream. It began to surface during the Workshop on The Art & Business of Thought Leadership, led by Erin Weed. Erin helps prepare TED TALK presenters to deliver their message. She led us through an exercise of delivering our gift to the world by each of us telling our story, delivering our personal truth, identifying the universal truth, and summing it all up in one word. My word: BELIEVE. I met Erin again that night as I was assigned to her small-group dinner, and we discussed my cancer journey and vocal cord paralysis, my personal truth and how to get my message out. Spoken out loud twice in one day, my dream seemed real and tangible. I saw Erin again the next day, and her words still resonate with me – “Go out and tell your truth! It's fucking awesome! I would definitely follow your blog or newsletter!” Her motivation worked because here I am!

Emerging Women was also about developing relationships with other attendees. It was bonding with Justine of http://everupward.org/ while waiting in line to meet Brene Brown and then hearing her personal truth of life after failed IVF at the small-group dinner with Erin. It was Sarah's welcoming smile and instant friendship and how jazzed she was to speak with her inspiration, Sera Beak.  It was opening up, being who I am, and living my personal truth with all the fabulous women at the conference, and then being honored to share their personal truths as well! It was awesome!

I can't wait to do it again this October in New York City! And I hope you join me! If you want to learn more, go to http://www.emergingwomen.com/.

Beauty in Vulnerability

After reading my first blog post, one of my dearest friends commented that its beauty lay in my vulnerability. A simple but powerful statement! Reclaiming Tanya is an outlet where I can express myself and share with you life lessons that I have learned or am still learning -- sometimes over and over again. I want to connect with you and show you that we all struggle and that you are not alone.  For you to trust me, I must open myself up to vulnerability.

Vulnerability is scary! Even as I type, there is a knot of fear in my stomach. What if no one relates to my blog? What if I get a call from my family telling me the gossip about my blog posting? What if people think I'm a freak? What if? What if?  What if?  In the past, the fear of vulnerability stopped me from blogging. I allowed that fear to minimize my voice.

However, vulnerability is also beautiful, like a tulip that blossoms in winter. Experiencing the beauty of vulnerability is amazing! When I embrace vulnerability, my experiences are deeper and richer. I learn more about myself, and I make stronger connections with others and learn from them. Yes, there have been times in my life when I let fear dictate, but I also have moved through the current of fear to experience the beauty on the other side of vulnerability.

For me, vulnerability is, at age 6, finding my father in the bathroom near death but having the courage to get my mother. The beauty in my vulnerability is that my father loved me unconditionally and guided me on my life path into early adulthood. He passed away when I was 19.

Vulnerability is, at age 34, sitting with my mother as the doctor confirms her diagnosis of inoperable lung cancer and goes over her treatment options. The beauty in our vulnerability is that we were able to spend quality time together in her last year that I will always cherish. In her final days, I told her it was okay for her to leave us. She told me that I was meant to live an extraordinary life.

For me, vulnerability is, at age 37, awakening after my thyroidectomy to be told by my surgeon that I have lost my ability to speak. The beauty in my vulnerability is that I learned the true power of positive thinking, and I not only regained my speech but am now reclaiming my voice! I also established deeper, richer connections with my friends who became my champions.

Vulnerabilty is, at age 39, acknowledging the painful end of a long term relationship and then being brave enough to date again. The beauty in my vulnerability is the wonderful life I share now with my lifemate Ben.  He makes me laugh every day and encourages me to pursue my dreams.

If you are interested in learning more about vulnerabilty, I encourage you to watch Brene Brown's 2010 TED talk on the power of vulnerability.

 

LIFE LESSON: Don't let fear stop you! Embrace vulnerability and find the beauty in it!