My Kindle Addiction

My partner Ben had an epiphany about me on Saturday. It was in the morning, and I was quietly reading in the living room. He looked down at me from the balcony and said, “You have an addictive personality.” I asked how he made that deduction. His response: “You never put down your Kindle. I've watched you for the past month, and you're reading every chance you get. You are addicted to your Kindle!” Sadly, it's true.

I first realized that I have an addictive personality the summer before sixth grade. My parents bought an Atari, and I spent a large part of every day playing Frogger to the exclusion of all else. Getting to the next level was like a drug for me. When school started again, I made the wise decision to give up video games because I knew that I was addicted. So, I went cold turkey. To this day, I don't play games on Facebook, and I've never owned a Nintendo, Playstation or Wi.

Knowing that I have an addictive personality, I never experimented with smoking or drugs for fear of where that experimentation would lead. I also rarely drink alcohol or gamble, and if I do, I set strict limits. I thought that I had all my bases covered until I realized that I had an addiction to Coca-Cola, which began around sixth grade. I drank Coke every day, and when stressed, I would immediately reach for a Coke. It was my coping mechanism. And then last year, I began feeling horrible when I drank Coke. My eyelids would break out, and I would get headaches, nausea, and hives. Yet, despite feeling ill, I would have such intense cravings that I would drink another Coke. I was tested for allergies and was found to be allergic to two ingredients in soft drinks. I also found out that ingesting foods to which I am allergic causes the pleasure centers of my brain to light up, making me crave them more. I again went cold turkey. It has been nine months since I had a Coke, and I still have intense cravings. If I see a Coke, I can taste the flavor and feel the bubbles. This is why my house is a Coke-free zone.

As you probably guessed, there is a pattern to my addictions. When I stopped drinking Coke, I substituted reading as my coping mechanism. If I get stressed, out comes the Kindle for a break from reality. Yes, I am addicted to reading! I take my Kindle everywhere. The one-click button is my downfall! My favorite time of the day is riding the Metro to and from work because I can read uninterrupted. If you have to have an addiction, I would assume that reading is a better one to have. At least I am exercising my brain, instead of killing off brain cells!

Still, having Ben call me on it, made me aware that by reading so much, I am missing out on being present in the moment. But this addiction is tricky...it's not possible to go cold turkey and give up reading. I realized that I am going to have to wean the hours that I read down. So, today, I limited myself to a morning of reading (hey it was a holiday!) and then promised Ben that I would put my Kindle away. Okay, it helped that my battery ran low, and I admit that I did sneak and download a couple of books. However, I haven't read anything on the Kindle since this morning, even though I am jonesing too!

I know that as I go through the weaning process, I will need to be vigilant to prevent myself from going mindlessly into another addiction. And, more importantly, I need to analyze why I am using all these coping mechanisms and then be willing to work on resolving those issues.  My life is definitely a work in progress!  

LIFE LESSON: Addictions come in all forms, not just alcohol, drugs, or gambling. Even reading can be an addiction if you singly focus on it to the detriment of other parts of your life. Don't be afraid to be present in the moment!