Beauty in Vulnerability

After reading my first blog post, one of my dearest friends commented that its beauty lay in my vulnerability. A simple but powerful statement! Reclaiming Tanya is an outlet where I can express myself and share with you life lessons that I have learned or am still learning -- sometimes over and over again. I want to connect with you and show you that we all struggle and that you are not alone.  For you to trust me, I must open myself up to vulnerability.

Vulnerability is scary! Even as I type, there is a knot of fear in my stomach. What if no one relates to my blog? What if I get a call from my family telling me the gossip about my blog posting? What if people think I'm a freak? What if? What if?  What if?  In the past, the fear of vulnerability stopped me from blogging. I allowed that fear to minimize my voice.

However, vulnerability is also beautiful, like a tulip that blossoms in winter. Experiencing the beauty of vulnerability is amazing! When I embrace vulnerability, my experiences are deeper and richer. I learn more about myself, and I make stronger connections with others and learn from them. Yes, there have been times in my life when I let fear dictate, but I also have moved through the current of fear to experience the beauty on the other side of vulnerability.

For me, vulnerability is, at age 6, finding my father in the bathroom near death but having the courage to get my mother. The beauty in my vulnerability is that my father loved me unconditionally and guided me on my life path into early adulthood. He passed away when I was 19.

Vulnerability is, at age 34, sitting with my mother as the doctor confirms her diagnosis of inoperable lung cancer and goes over her treatment options. The beauty in our vulnerability is that we were able to spend quality time together in her last year that I will always cherish. In her final days, I told her it was okay for her to leave us. She told me that I was meant to live an extraordinary life.

For me, vulnerability is, at age 37, awakening after my thyroidectomy to be told by my surgeon that I have lost my ability to speak. The beauty in my vulnerability is that I learned the true power of positive thinking, and I not only regained my speech but am now reclaiming my voice! I also established deeper, richer connections with my friends who became my champions.

Vulnerabilty is, at age 39, acknowledging the painful end of a long term relationship and then being brave enough to date again. The beauty in my vulnerability is the wonderful life I share now with my lifemate Ben.  He makes me laugh every day and encourages me to pursue my dreams.

If you are interested in learning more about vulnerabilty, I encourage you to watch Brene Brown's 2010 TED talk on the power of vulnerability.

 

LIFE LESSON: Don't let fear stop you! Embrace vulnerability and find the beauty in it!