Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving from our home to yours! May you experience peace, love, and great food on this day!

Ben and I are spending a quiet day at home. We usually travel to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family; however, we both have to work tomorrow. So, we decided to make Thanksgiving as relaxing as possible! No thoughts of the outside world today! And thanks to Wegmans, our Thanksgiving meal is already prepared!

Our 2014 Happy Turkey

We ordered an antibiotic free, vegetarian fed, humanely raised turkey (aka Happy Turkey), complete with turkey gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, whipped sweet potatoes, green been casserole, and cranberry relish. Instead of having to cook all day long, the entire meal will only take 3 hours to heat up! However, before you think that I totally flaked on cooking for Thanksgiving, I did make an organic pumpkin pie for today's dessert!

Tanya's Organic Pumpkin Pie

So, what are we doing with all our spare time today? We slept in late. I made breakfast for us and then took a long, hot bubble bath. I'm decked out in my sweats and he in his jeans. He's ready to watch football. I'm going to read a novel and sew on my quilt. We'll call family later in the day. I'm also pretty sure that some cuddling will go on and napping will occur. Add that to an already cooked meal, pumpkin pie, and some wine, and we have a perfect Thanksgiving day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

Date with a Nutritionist

As part of my lifeshift (aka my healthy mid-life crisis), I set the intention that I would strive for a healthier living. So, I made an appointment with a nutritionist. On the phone, she indicated that she would email me a form to fill out, which shouldn't take more than 30 minutes, and asked that I also keep a food log over a 3-day period.  When the form arrived in my inbox, I promptly forgot about it.

My memory was jogged while looking at my iPhone calendar the day before the appointment.  So, I frantically tried to remember what I had eaten for the past 3 days. And then I had to remind myself to be honest about it! Lying to your nutritionist about your eating habits before the first meeting is like lying to a first date about your height or weight. It's not going to get you what you want in the end!

And then, I came to the form -- you know the one that should take only 30 minutes to fill out. So, 2 hours later, I had laid myself bare in my responses. And when I say bare, think "naked on a busy street" bare.  There was not an intrusive question about my body habits that she didn't ask. We're talking how many times a day, week, month, year I have sex! Not even my doctor knows the shape of my poop, and I promise not to share it here!  But the nutritionist wanted to know!

During our session, I set goals to be healthier overall, to reduce stress, and to lose weight. The nutritionist asked me to think of her as a lifestyle coach who will help me get to the root cause of my issues surrounding food and do it in a functional manner. So, now I have my own food therapist!

I was pleasantly surprised at our meeting not to be attached to a torture rack in order to spill more secrets. However, she did weigh me and take my blood pressure. She also gave me a zinc test to see if I was zinc deficient.  It consisted of swishing liquid zinc in my mouth for 30 seconds and then describing the taste. Of course, I broke out in hives because I had forgotten that I have a zinc sensitivity! 

Until our next meeting, we agreed that I would focus on eating a healthier breakfast.  I've been testing out different smoothies.  Believe me when I say that not every combination is tasty! But I think of it as a science experiment! She also suggested that I drink a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (the kind with the mother) with water before each meal to reduce acid reflux. That actually seems to have helped.

The verdict: I'm going to see her again.  She had a positive but realistic attitude, and I think that she'll help me eat all my veggies!





     

Blogging Success

I am excited to share my first post in the Huffington Post Blog: 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tanya-rasa/reclaiming-my-voice_b_6117858.html!

Last month, I attended Emerging Women Live 2014, at which Arianna Huffington spoke.  I approached her to thank her for writing Thrive and mentioned that I only learned to really thrive after having thyroid cancer and losing my voice. She graciously listened, gave me her business card, and asked me to share my story. During the conference, Tara Mohr encouraged us to Play Big and set an intention to do one thing that would move us forward toward our goal within two weeks.  I set my intention to send Arianna my story. Then, Gabrielle Bernstein led us through a powerful yoga meditation, where she encouraged us to focus on positive thoughts because whatever we were thinking would be magnified.  One of my visions during that meditation was seeing my story on the Huffington Post Blog!

Yet, did I immediately send an email to Arianna when I got home? No. Life got in the way. One week went by.  And then those pesky fears began to show themselves. You know the ones: Who am I to think that I can get published on the Huffington Post Blog? Was my story really that inspiring to get that type of coverage? As the second week drew to a close, I sat myself down and gave myself a "talking to," in my mother's words. And in that meeting with my inner voice, I made the following statement, "I won't know if I don't try. I can't succeed if I don't try. So try already!"

So, I poured out my story in an email to Arianna and hit send. I assumed it would be a long wait and that I would get a response from an assistant eventually. Imagine my surprise when I received a lovely response from Arianna within the hour! And now my story is published on the Huffington Post Blog! Freaking amazing!

The responses that I have received to my post have been so uplifting! Friends who were my voice when I couldn't speak sent me messages about how I inspired them while I went through my cancer journey. My family spoke of the strength that they've seen in me my entire life. A childhood friend thanked me for the lesson that she received from the blog, and another thyroid cancer survivor recounted her story of overcoming her vocal cord struggles by singing. And my EW sisters continue to give me support and encourage me to use my voice!  Thank you all!
 

Vestiges of Thyroid Cancer

I am a thyroid cancer survivor. While undergoing a routine physical, my doctor noticed a lump in my neck and ordered an ultrasound. When the ultrasound showed a nodule greater than 1 cm, she ordered a fine needle aspiration (FNA). Going into the procedure, I was comforted by the fact that 95 percent of thyroid nodules are benign. Mine came back suspicious for cancer. A second FNA confirmed that I was in the 1 percent of the U.S. population diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

Both my doctor and my surgeon assured me that my cancer was “the best cancer to have,” as there is a 5-year survival rate of over 97 percent. I was told that I needed surgery to remove my thyroid and then I would have to take a pill a day for the rest of my life but that I would be able to lead a normal life. Sounds easy, right? Not so fast! Since I underwent my thyroidectomy 5 years ago, I've experienced a number of complications:

• Vocal cord paralysis resulting in the loss of speech;
• Decreased lung capacity due to the paralysis;
• Difficulty swallowing;
• Calcium deficiency as my parathyroid glands were touched during surgery;
• Pregnancy ban for 1 year;
• Allergies, including to my life-saving thyroid medication;
• Fast pulse and heart palpitations;
• Anxiety;
• Fatigue and brain fog;
• Dry mouth; 
• Burning mouth; and
• Dry eyes.

Thyroid cancer patients have to be placed in a hyperthyroid state to keep the cancer away, but it is difficult to get the correct dosage that also minimizes the myriad of side effects. So, instead of one pill a day, I currently take 15 pills daily! In addition, my cancer had spread outside of my thyroid; so, I had to undergo radioactive iodine treatment. Under quarantine, I took my radioactive pill and engaged in a nuclear war with my renegade thyroid cells! However, at the 1-year mark, my endocrinologist told me that she may never be able to declare me in remission.

Sounds horrible, right? How can any doctor say that I have the “best cancer?” Looking back on the last five years, I could easily have become depressed, but instead I chose to be happy and find ways to thrive.

• When I was told that my vocal cord paralysis was permanent after a year with no voice, I used visualization techniques daily for 6 months, believing that I would one day speak again. According to my ENT, it was a one in a million chance to be able to speak normally and scream with a paralyzed vocal cord. I did it!
• When my endocrinologist told me that I may never be in remission, it could have devastated me, but instead, I simply said, “I am in remission. You just don't realize it yet!” I never stopped believing, and at the 4-year mark, she finally agreed with my assessment!
• When I take my thyroid medication upon waking each morning, I give thanks that I am alive and have a beautiful life! It's a daily reminder to start the day out right!
• I stay in tune with my body, exercising regularly and striving (though not always achieving) to get 8 hours of sleep a night. I've recently begun taking a kundalini yoga class to help build my lung capacity and reduce stress.
• I embrace laughter. My domestic partner takes his job of making me laugh seriously. He has me in stitches every day! And my 91-year old grandmother is a riot! Laughter is truly the best medicine!
• I created a bucket list. My list stretches me to get outside my comfort zone, to try new things, and to live life to the fullest. One of my goals is to run a 5K, which has been unattainable to date because of my decreased lung capacity, but I've set the intention and know that I'll be successful even if I have to crawl over the finish line wearing an oxygen mask! And after that, I want to go hiking in Nepal!

Yes, I face challenges in my life as a result of the vestiges of thyroid cancer. There are days that I don't have the energy to get out of bed, but I do anyway. There are days that I can't think clearly, but I laugh about it and keep trying. Why? Because every day is a miracle to me. That I am alive without my thyroid, the organ that regulates the body, is a miracle! That I regained my speech is a miracle! That I am in remission is a miracle! Yes, I live with the vestiges of thyroid cancer. As a result, my life is so much richer!

Owning a Child-free Life

I just finished reading Ever Upward, a non-fiction book written by Justine Brooks Froelker on how she overcame infertility losses to own a child-free life. In full disclosure, Justine and I are friends, and I am mentioned in the book. I purchased Ever Upward to support a friend, but what I got out of it was a whole lot more. Through her writing, Justine made me face my own struggles with infertility, and the accompanying shame, that I had tamped down inside myself.

Justine and I met at Emerging Women Live 2013, waiting for Brene Brown to sign our books. We realized that we were assigned to the same small group dinner led by Erin Weed and made plans to go together. During that dinner, Justine told us her story but in a clinical, matter of fact way. Yet, Erin pushed Justine to be vulnerable, demanding that she tell her story in her own words. With raw emotion, Justine said, "I will own and not just prove." And she has done just that with Ever Upward!

Justine's Story: Due to two major back surgeries in high school, it was not safe for Justine to carry a child. She told herself that she didn't want to be a parent, but with surrogacy, she and her husband Chad were given just that chance. Ever Upward takes us through through their search for a surrogate, Justine's infertility treatments resulting in the retrieval of 3 eggs, and their devastating loss when pregnancy did not result. Justine and Chad also know that adoption is not right for them. Justine speaks openly of the shame and depression she felt and how she emerged into being her own self again and embraced a child-free but child-full life. She tells her story as part of her healing, but also so that other women facing a similar situation will know that they are not alone.

My Story: I have always wanted to be a parent. Yet, I am not. As I waited on the father of my children to arrive in my life, I focused on my career. Year after year slipped away, but I didn't act on my desire because I felt like I still had time and didn't want to be a single parent. And then I met someone special and was ready to begin trying to conceive when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Undergoing radioactive iodine treatment required a 1-year pregnancy ban as it could cause serious birth defects. As the ban ended so did my relationship, but the desire to be a mom strengthened. Speaking with my doctor, I remember her words, "I'm sorry Tanya, but it would be unwise to get pregnant. Your health is too delicate." I reached out to an infertility specialist who gave me hope and even lined up a sperm donor. Yet, I didn't go through with it. Having thyroid cancer puts me at greater risk for other endocrine cancers, and as I researched the infertility treatments, I could not be guaranteed that they wouldn't increase that risk further. And then I met Ben. He wants children as much as I do, but he is adamant that my health is more important. I am that dear to him.

Justine's story in Ever Upward resonated with me. I know the longing in my heart to be a mom. I know the shame of being childless in a world full of children. I experience pain when someone asks how many children I have or even worse, being a full-figured woman, when I'm due. Yet, like Justine, I have to own my story and continue to emerge into my own. Thanks for the reminder Justine!

If you are experiencing infertility or know someone who is, please consider reading Ever Upward.